How to Spot A Toxic Person
As we go through life, we’ll come in contact with many different types of people. There are those who love us, and give back to us as we give to them, and others who see our joy and try to steal it. Guard your heart, your mind, and your time by being able to quickly recognize what a toxic person looks like.
- They Try to Control You: Manipulation is one of the biggest red flags of a toxic person. It’s usually very difficult to spot because they are manipulating the situation. They may manipulate you by cutting you off from other friends and family, using your faults as a weapon, or guilt tripping you into doing things that cross your boundaries. It’s a ploy to keep you close and to absorb all of your attention. They need it and they feed off of it.
- They Are Always The Victim: People who are constantly complaining and never take responsibility for their actions are victims. They want someone to tell them why it’s ok to be mad, angry, sad, and for someone to rescue them from their misery. People who are victims have a negative outlook on life, and spread that negativity like a virus. It’s not your responsibility to save them from their misery. Only they can do that.
- They Take Without Giving: Have you ever met a person that calls you on the phone and dumps all of their problems out, and nevers asks how you are? That’s someone who takes and takes and takes, and never wants to reciprocate. They hand you all of their life problems and feel great afterwards. You, on the other hand, feel drained after speaking with them.
- They Blame Others: Nothing is ever their fault. If something goes wrong, then it wasn’t on them. Let’s say your friend gets in a minor car accident. You get a phone call from jail asking for bail money. You arrive and find out that they were drinking and driving, and got in an accident. Of course, it wasn’t their fault for getting in the accident, and they’ll never accept the fact that it was due to their poor choices.
- They Enjoy Conflict: Some people feed off of the drama of an argument. They always seem to find some sort of conflict to be in, whether it be with a boyfriend, friends, work, etc. Somehow they usually throw you into the mix of the conflict by making you listen to the details. If you don’t defend them, then here comes more conflict your way.
- They Lie: Toxic people lie about anything and everything. There’s no honesty in them because they are constantly twisting the truth. You can’t trust a word that they say because they truly believe they are always in the right. Their world view is distorted, and they see everyone else as something to be used.
- They Refuse To Listen: If you come to a friend with a genuine concern, and they refuse to hear what you have to say, then you may be talking to a toxic person. They don’t want to confront the ugly parts of themselves, and see themselves as constantly right. They’ll expect an apology for trying to come to them with a complaint against them.
Dealing with toxic people is something we get better at as we get older. Before you allow them close to you, see them for who they are. You don’t have to be ugly towards them, but you also want to keep your distance. Avoid them as much as possible, and refuse to let their negativity come into your life.